Category Archives: Nature

Uncle Frankie’s Top 10 for 2010

Well kids, another year has ended and, just like SportsCenter and Entertainment Tonight, Uncle Frankie is here to share his Top 10 Stories for 2010.

In no particular order, here they are:

1: Man Meets Cow, Man Screws Cow, Man Marries Cow

2: Technology Turns on a TSA Employee So He Turns on His Co-workers

3: The Rent Boy and The Reverend

4: Blowing Mr. Devito

5: School Board President Masturbates During Board Meeting

6: The Doll Husband

7: Father Gray Prefers The Older Boys

8: Going For More Beer

9: “Charlie Bit My Finger” Revisited

10: The Brazilian Love Dance

Those were not the most popular posts – you’ll see them shortly. They are just my personal favorites. Be sure to comment with some of your faves.

Here’s to hoping 2011 will bring us as much wacky human behavior to report on as last year did. No worries on that one kids.

Heads On A Plane!

Heads On A Plane!Yikes kids! According to this story on the NBC Dallas web site, a box filled with 40-60 human heads was discovered by a suspicious Southwest Airlines employee in Little Rock.

The employee stopped a courier and asked “What’s in the box?” When the courier professed not to know the answer the airline guy opened the box, looked in and got the surprise of his life.

This is definitely a case of You Know You’re Having A Bad Day At Work When…

Uncle Frankie’s Cousin Frankie McDowell Makes an Important Announcement

ATTENTION!!! My cousin Frankie McDowell has a very important announcement for all U.S. citizens living along the Pacific coast (and Vancouver, British Columbia Canada):

I hope you were paying close attention. No further warnings will be given, though I have instructed Cousin Frankie to text me with any updates.

Stay tuned…

Nice Bush!

I am familiar with the concept of getting some bush inside a car. Putting a car inside a bush? Not so much.

This solar-powered vehicle is a testament to the fact that some people just have too much time on their hands – and not enough bush in their lives!

BTW: I love the fact that this video has no voice-over or explanation whatsoever. I guess the inventor/videographer figures the whole concept is self-explanatory. Silly me. I don’t get it.

Buena arbusta!

A Spider Bit My Pee Pee!

(Spoken a la “A dingo took my baby!” from the movie “A Cry In The Dark”)

According to this story on the Fox News web site, an unnamed 22 year-old Canadian tourist was nearly killed when a venomous katipo spider bit him on the penis.

The offending arachnid thought he had found a cozy home in our hero’s shorts which were left on the beach. But, after returning from a bracing skinny-dip in the surf, redonning his shorts and falling asleep, our boy awoke with a start!

Within minutes, the spider’s venom was causing him to have agonizing chest pains, a racing heart, high blood pressure and severe swelling to his penis.

I hate when that happens!

Our turgid Canadian recovered completely – after spending 16 days in the hospital. YIKES!

I doubt he’ll be cast as the next Smiling Bob on those Enzyte commercials – though I don’t doubt he could give Bob a run for his money in the junk department.

40 Years and $1 Trillion Later, The Drug War Grinds On

Whatever your feelings about the legalization of drugs, one fact is clear: The United States’ “War on Drugs” has been an abysmal failure.

According to this story reported by United Press International, since 1970 we’ve spent one trillion dollars ($1,000,000,000,000.00) and lost hundreds of lives in a futile attempt to stem the flow of drugs deemed illegal to their ready, willing and eager customer base in the U.S.

If anything, the problem has grown worse over time. Here’s what U.S. drug czar Gil Kerlikowske has to say:

“In the grand scheme, it has not been successful,” Kerlikowske told The Associated Press. “Forty years later, the concern about drugs and drug problems is, if anything, magnified, intensified.”

It’s hard to believe that we never learned the lesson of Prohibition which gave rise to widespread organized crime in the 1920s and 30s. People are going to have their drinks and their drugs. It’s as simple as that. And, right now, the Mexican drug lords make Al Capone look like a pussycat!

My answer: legalize, regulate and tax marijuana. It’s politically inconceivable to think that cocaine or heroin will ever be legalized but they aren’t the big money makers right now, high-grade pot is. As for pharmaceutical drugs – they’re already “regulated” but are probably more popular and available than ever as illegal/recreational substances.

Methamphetamine? Forget about it! That stuff is bad news any way you look at it, would never get legalized and is mostly manufactured domestically anyway.

No, legalizing pot will not answer all of our national drug problems. But it will cost the drug lords a lot of money and will help support a lot of states and municipalities.

Your thoughts?

Arizona Responds to California’s Boycott

According to this article on the Talking Points Memo web site, Arizona is losing tens of millions of dollars in lost convention and tourism business due to boycotts in response to the new illegal immigration law.

But the boys at the Exurban League don’t really give a shit.