Category Archives: Richard and Mayumi Heene

2010 in Review According to WordPress

In my last posting, I shared my Top 10 stories from 2010 with you. Below is what you, my reading public, found most fascinating over the past 12 months. Not surprisingly, your favorite topic was – wait for it – BOOBS!

Uncle Frankie is just shocked and amazed kiddies. Not really.

The funniest part is that, in three years of publishing this blog, I’ve only posted “Boob Content” twice that I can think of. And even then, the posts were not essentially about the boobs themselves. Nonetheless, there are certain truisms in life, one of which is that everyone – male or female – loves boobs.

The stats helper monkeys at WordPress.com mulled over how Stuff Frank Finds Funny did in 2010, and here’s a high level summary of its overall blog health:

Healthy blog!

The Blog-Health-o-Meterâ„¢ reads Wow.

Crunchy numbers

Featured image

The Louvre Museum has 8.5 million visitors per year. This blog was viewed about 120,000 times in 2010. If it were an exhibit at The Louvre Museum, it would take 5 days for that many people to see it.

In 2010, there were 106 new posts, growing the total archive of this blog to 192 posts. There were 147 pictures uploaded, taking up a total of 8mb. That’s about 3 pictures per week.

The busiest day of the year was August 23rd with 819 views. The most popular post that day was A Quarter-Million Chinese Boobs.

Where did they come from?

The top referring sites in 2010 were democraticunderground.com, alphainventions.com, 74.125.67.100, search.aol.com, and facebook.com.

Some visitors came searching, mostly for boobs, big boobs, asian boobs, asian tits, and big breasts.

Other interesting search phrases which brought visitors to Stuff Frank Finds Funny? Richard Heene, creepy clown(s), human caterpillar, 12 year old breasts, me love you long time, doll husband, 12 year old boy [I’m not making this up kids, these terms are from the logs] hairy ass, small penis, monkey meat, may I push in your stool, gay thong, you can’t fix stupid, mixed emotions, Marion Barry, mom boobs, weed and beer, long breasts (WTF?), old tits, gay bashing web sites, manly bike for sale, people running away (?), what the hell is victoria’s secret?, along with over 100 iterations of boobs, big boobs, big asian/chinese/japanese/australian boobs, boobs of 10 year-old girls, 12, 13 15 – you name it.

Attractions in 2010

These are the posts and pages that got the most views in 2010.

1

A Quarter-Million Chinese Boobs December 2008
10 comments

2

Kill Mom. Buy Boobs. September 2008
2 comments

3

Richard Heene To Appear on Wife Swap September 2008
73 comments

4

Richard and Mayumi Heene’s “Wife Swap” Performances October 2008
60 comments

5

Coulrophobia December 2008
2 comments

Uncle Frankie’s Top 10 for 2008

It’s that time of year – time for everybody’s personal best of 2008 lists. Here are the top 10 things I found funny this year.

I’m sure everyone will disagree about something I’ve listed here. So please comment with one or more of your Frankie Faves for 2008.

Happy New Year!

Richard Heene Featured On “The Soup”

It looks like Richard’s fame is growing after his appearance on Wife Swap with Mayumi.

I used to think that Richard Heene was one of a kind. After seeing his kids, I’m not so sure.

Richard and Mayumi Heene’s “Wife Swap” Performances

Well, I hope everyone took my advice and watched Wife Swap last night.

Richard Heene Blows His Wife's Mind

Richard Heene Blows His Wife's Mind

As promised: Richard Heene did not disappoint!

The real surprise to me was Mayumi. While I don’t know her as well as I do Richard, I was shocked and amazed by her gutsy, heartfelt outbursts and approach to her new husband and family.

By the end of the show, both wives came across as heroes and both husbands looked like buffoons.

No surprise there – either on Wife Swap specifically or in American mass media generally. From the original “Honey, the Ajax turned blue!” to the most recent spots from Lowe’s, dad is always a dufus.

I’m going to see if I can get Richard and Mayumi to do an interview with me to post here. Stay tuned.

In the meantime, post your comments on the show, the Heene’s and the sad state of Dad’s rep in America. Let’s hear it Pops!

Other posts on this blog about Richard Heene and Mayumi Heene

Jumpin’ Juice In The Joint

June 17, 1994.

It’s hard to believe it’s been over 14 years since the White Bronco Chase.

The juice is heading for the joint

The Juice is finally headed for the joint.

While the wheels of justice sometimes turn slowly, it appears that Johnny Law has finally caught up with OJ Simpson.

Thirteen years to the day since he was acquitted of killing Nicole Brown Simpson and Ronald Goldman, Orenthal James Simpson was convicted by a Las Vegas jury Friday of 12 counts related to a botched hotel room robbery.

As the charges include kidnapping and armed robbery, he faces the possibility of life in prison.

Justice delayed is justice denied some would say. I don’t know quite what to say.

As someone old enough to remember OJ winning the Heisman Trophy as a running back at USC – and jumping through airports in Hertz commercials – I think his belief in his own invincibility finally got the best of him.

Invincibility? Let’s face it; on top of being skirt chasing, award winning celebrity and sports star for most of his life, the man literally got away with murder!

I remember very clearly watching the Bronco Chase on TV and being utterly bewildered. OJ the golden boy, the actor, product endorser, world-class athlete and handsome example of the possibilities offered to every American no matter their race or background – a bloodthirsty murderer?

My head felt like it was going to pop. Psychologists call it Cognitive Dissonance.

That feeling was even stronger when he beat the double-murder rap a year later. I didn’t think there was a serious chance he would be convicted this time.

Well Juice, I guess we never knew ya’.

Strange postscript to this story kids:

Friday October 3, 2008 was the day of OJ’s conviction – and of the Richard and Mayumi Heene’s appearance on Wife Swap.

So what? When I visited the Heene’s in Los Angeles several years ago, they were living on Bundy Drive, the same street as the Simpson murder house.

Coincidence? I don’t think so!

Proof of Heene’s Existence on Wife Swap

Oh, My, God.

I now not only have proof that Richard Heene and his family will be appearing on Wife Swap, but am also able to share a synopsis of the show and a short video clip from ABC Television. Here’s the first sentence of the synopsis:

The Heene family from Colorado lives life on the edge, wife Mayumi and storm scientist Richard, take their three kids, Bradford, Ryo and Falcon out of school to go on storm chasing missions to prove Richard’s theories about magnetic fields and gravity.

Richard, Mayumi and their three boys.

Whet your appetite? Click on this link or the picture above read the full description and watch the clip. You can also click here to learn how you can vote for the Heene’s as your favorite family on the show starting at noon on Friday October 3rd

For more information about my friend Richard, his family and their upcoming 60 minutes of fame, click here to read my previous posting .

Just a reminder: The Heene’s will be featured on the Season Premier episode of Wife Swap, Friday October 3, 2008 at 8:00 Eastern Time on ABC Television. Check your local listings and, whatever you do, DON’T MISS THIS SHOW.

Other posts on this blog about Richard Heene and Mayumi Heene…

Zonies and Zonisms

When I moved to Arizona in August, my friend Richard Heene sent me the following advice by email:

“Zonies” are a little weird after they live there in Arizona for over a year. Drink beer and get disconnected in order to speak to them in a comprehendible way.

Richard’s perspective is always invaluable and inimitable.

Once informed that Arizonans are better known as Zonies, I decided to coin my own term – Zonisms – to describe the unusual things and behavior you encounter here.

For example:

  • There’s no such thing as cold tap water. Brushing your teeth in hot water is an acquired taste.
  • Arizona does not recognize Daylight Saving Time. When it was proposed in the 1950s one state legislator exclaimed, “This is Arizona. We don’t need anymore goddam daylight!”
  • Motorcyclists are not required to wear helmets because it’s so freaking hot in there.
  • Summertime pedestrians are practically nonexistent.
  • There are more birds here in the Winter than in the Summer.

I’m sure I’ll come across more Zonies and Zonisms as I go along and will happily share them as they appear.