Category Archives: Sports

The Perfect Charity for Redskins Fans

If you’re a Redskins fan who lives in the DC area (like your Uncle Frankie here), you’ve seen hundreds of these poor, woebegone souls over the years and wished you could do something about it. Well, now you can.

Don’t wait ‘Skins fans, donate today. Together we can eradicate NBD from the Metro area in our lifetime.

So You Think You Know Baseball?

I went to a Washington Nationals baseball game the other night and had the misfortune of sitting in front an “expert” who analyzed every play at 120 decibels.

I wonder if he could read me the score of this game…

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It’s 5 to 4, bottom of the fifth, one out and nobody on.

I Got It!

That's going to leave a mark!

According to this story on AOL Fanhouse, an unnamed baseball fan fell 30 feet from the upper deck of Rangers Stadium in Arlington, Texas yesterday, trying to catch a foul ball.

He had been reaching for a foul ball off the bat of Nelson Cruz when it caromed off the facade of the stadium. The fan then, with his back to the field, reached up and over his head, losing balance in the process and tumbling over the railing.

While the fall was not captured on video, thousands of fans and several players on the field witnessed it and were visibly shaken afterward.

Play was suspended for 16 minutes while the hapless man, who landed on his back, was attended to by paramedics. He was able to move all four extremities later at the hospital. Four fans in the lower deck were also injured when landed upon. While not seriously injured, they were clearly pissed!

This unusual occurrence is rarely captured on film but your old Uncle Frankie did witness an addled concert-goer fall from the second deck of RFK Stadium in Washington, DC during a rock show in the 1970s. That person simply stood up and walked away.

I’m sure he felt it in the morning.

Your Ass Hanging Out In The Wind

I recently had to explain to someone that this expression means “feeling vulnerable.” I wouldn’t have to explain it to this guy.

ass-in-the-wind

According to The Smoking Gun, this poor SOB slid through the back of a ski lift seat which had not been folded down into its fully-locked position, and hung there for 15 minutes before Vail ski resort personnel could get him down.

Perhaps the only person more horrified by this incident than the victim (and his rescuers) is the child who was riding with him (shown still sitting on the lift above our hero). Another group who is shivering in their (ski) boots is Vail’s legal team which is sure to be paying through the ass to help take the chill off this guy’s berries.

I’m Not Your Stepping Stone

You probably don’t remember that old Monkees song (written by Tommy Boyce and Bobby Hart) but I guarantee you’ll remember this video.

A short aside: what is it with guys who flash? I’m mean, I’m as afflicted with Testosterone Blues as the next guy but I’ve never even considered exposing myself in public. Can some twisted individual please write in and explain the turn-on?

Muchas Gracias to Awesome Art for sending this one in. Tio Francisco.

Getting Your Ass Hammered By Guys In The Dugout

“There’s just no better feeling.” Who can argue with this level of sincerity?

Any comments?

Jumpin’ Juice In The Joint

June 17, 1994.

It’s hard to believe it’s been over 14 years since the White Bronco Chase.

The juice is heading for the joint

The Juice is finally headed for the joint.

While the wheels of justice sometimes turn slowly, it appears that Johnny Law has finally caught up with OJ Simpson.

Thirteen years to the day since he was acquitted of killing Nicole Brown Simpson and Ronald Goldman, Orenthal James Simpson was convicted by a Las Vegas jury Friday of 12 counts related to a botched hotel room robbery.

As the charges include kidnapping and armed robbery, he faces the possibility of life in prison.

Justice delayed is justice denied some would say. I don’t know quite what to say.

As someone old enough to remember OJ winning the Heisman Trophy as a running back at USC – and jumping through airports in Hertz commercials – I think his belief in his own invincibility finally got the best of him.

Invincibility? Let’s face it; on top of being skirt chasing, award winning celebrity and sports star for most of his life, the man literally got away with murder!

I remember very clearly watching the Bronco Chase on TV and being utterly bewildered. OJ the golden boy, the actor, product endorser, world-class athlete and handsome example of the possibilities offered to every American no matter their race or background – a bloodthirsty murderer?

My head felt like it was going to pop. Psychologists call it Cognitive Dissonance.

That feeling was even stronger when he beat the double-murder rap a year later. I didn’t think there was a serious chance he would be convicted this time.

Well Juice, I guess we never knew ya’.

Strange postscript to this story kids:

Friday October 3, 2008 was the day of OJ’s conviction – and of the Richard and Mayumi Heene’s appearance on Wife Swap.

So what? When I visited the Heene’s in Los Angeles several years ago, they were living on Bundy Drive, the same street as the Simpson murder house.

Coincidence? I don’t think so!