Category Archives: Female Problems

Camel Towing

What could I possibly add to this?

Much love to TheLex for this submission.

What Does A Black Guy Wear On Halloween?

A black man tells his wife to go buy him a suit for the Halloween party in a few days.

The next day he sees a Superman costume. He yells at her, “What’s this? Have you ever seen a black Superman? Take it back!”

The next day he finds a Batman suit again he yells at her, “What’s this? Have you ever seen a black Batman? Take it back!”

Irate by now, she takes it back and when he arrives home the next day he sees 3 items on the bed. 3 white buttons, a white belt, and a 2×4. He yells at her, “WTF is this?”

She yells back, “Get naked and you can either put the 3 buttons on and go as a domino, or put the white belt on and go as an Oreo and if you don’t like that idea you can shove the 2×4 up your ass and go as a fudgesicle!”

The moral of the story: Don’t ever mess with an angry black woman.

Much love to Vicki O for sending this one in.

To Be 12 Again

A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching his wife, who was looking at herself in the mirror.

Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she’d like to have for her birthday.

‘I’d like to be twelve again’, she replied, still looking in the mirror .

On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms, and then took her to Six Flags theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Roller Coaster, everything there was.

Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down. He then took her to a McDonald’s where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake.

Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy, M&M’s. What a fabulous adventure!

Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted.

He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, ‘Well Dear, what was it like being twelve again?’

Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed.

‘I meant my dress size, you retard!!!!’

The moral of the story:
Even when a man is listening, he’s gonna get it wrong.

Gimme’ My McNuggets Bitch!

The only thing unfunny about this video is the fact that there is no audio track. I would LOVE to hear the exchange between these two “ladies.” Actually, this would be a great video to dub-in dialog like What’s Up Tiger Lily.

Here’s the plot kids:
The McDonald’s employee tells the woman at the drive-up window that McNuggets are not on the breakfast menu and so she can’t have any. The customer then begins to politely explain that she is going to have her McNuggets no matter what!

Hilarity ensues.

It eventually takes three McDonald’s employees to get the window closed, at which point the customer begins beating on it.

If you watch the video all the way through, you’ll see the perpette actually break the window out. She then drives off and the car behind her calmly pulls up to the window.

Her tirade cost her 60 days in jail and $1,500 in damages.

And how was your morning?