Category Archives: Rated X for Exceptionally Rude

Puff The Magic Dragon

First off, let me apologize in advance to all of you people who may be offended, shocked or just plain grossed out by the subject matter of this posting.

True, I didn’t “have to” post this material. But I really didn’t feel I had any choice. These pictures are so outrageous and so hilarious that they were absolutely made for this site.

If you don’t like it, don’t look. Well, even if you do look you’re almost sure not to like it. This is the phallic equivalent of a train wreck: you can’t look away.

Believe it or not, there was one picture I chose not to include in this gallery because it is just too rude!

Blowing Mr. DeVito

I don’t know why I can’t embed this video directly into the blog but it is so GD funny that you MUST click the photo below and watch it. (This is a direct order from your superior soldier!)

Blowing Mr. DeVito

Click the photo above and prepare for a laugh treat.

Provided that you like extremely raunchy sexual humor (without the gratuitous skin shots) you will absolutely LOVE this. And you can take that to the bank, because that’s an Uncle Frankie Guarangoddamntee!

Many thanks to RJ for this hilarious submission.

Uncle Frankie’s Top 10 for 2008

It’s that time of year – time for everybody’s personal best of 2008 lists. Here are the top 10 things I found funny this year.

I’m sure everyone will disagree about something I’ve listed here. So please comment with one or more of your Frankie Faves for 2008.

Happy New Year!

Uncle Frankie: Witness to History

Just came across this photo on FoundShit.com. Man, did it take me back to the day… Why? Because I once knew this guy.

If you are of a certain age you may remember the original Life Magazine photograph (shown farther down in this post along with the very disturbing NBC News video clip) from which this piece of street art is adapted. The fact that the image was used 40 years after the original incident as the inspiration for a random piece of street art, attests to its power and historical significance.

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Taken February 2, 1968, the second day of the Tet Offensive by Eddie Adams, who won a Pulitzer Prize for it, the photo shows South Vietnamese National Police Chief Brigadier General Nguyen Ngoc Loan, executing a Viet Cong prisoner on the street in Saigon. Some have dubbed the shot “The Instant of Death.”

Here are some historical tidbits related to the story:

Adams snapped his unforgettable shot on day two of the Tet Offensive. Tet was a coordinated assault by more than 80,000 North Vietnamese and VC troops on 36 (of 44) provincial capitals, 5 (of 6) autonomous cities, and 64 (of 242) district capitals in South Vietnam. It was a surprise attack during a holiday truce (for the Vietnamese New Year). The fighting lasted a few months in several different theaters. It ended with a resounding American victory. But media coverage in general, and Adams’s photograph in particular, transformed it into a Pyrrhic victory.

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So, what does all of this have to do with your friend Frank?

In the early 1980s a small, family-owned restaurant called Les Trois Continents opened in the Rolling Valley Mall near my home in Springfield, Virginia. Shortly thereafter, a very small, soft-spoken Vietnamese man came to our print shop to get some menus typeset and printed for the restaurant. I soon learned that he was none other than Nguyen Ngoc Loan, the man firing the pistol in the photo.

The restaurant’s name means The Three Continents in French and refers to Vietnam’s history as the French colony, French Indochina. Like many members of the wealthier class in Vietnam, General Loan was born in Vietnam, educated in France and immigrated to the United States after the fall of Saigon. Hence the name.

Our family went to his restaurant many times because of the great food and friendly service. I only asked General Loan about the incident once. He acknowledged his identity but said he would prefer not to speak about the event. His only comment was that the picture was taken out of context and that he had no regrets about his actions.

“There is no way you could understand what was going on that day,” he said and left it with that. Hard to disagree.

To this day, the contradiction of the man confounds me. He was about 5′ 2″, maybe 95 lbs., had a severe leg injury and walked very slowly and feebly with the aid of a cane. He was funny, worldly, polite and humble. And yet this same man was capable of calmly drawing a pistol from his hip, shooting an unarmed, bound man directly in the temple in front of scores of witnesses, returning his gun just as matter-of factly to his holster and quietly walking away, leaving the man in the street like a dog with his brains and blood running out.

If nothing else, this is testimony to the fact that you just never know a person’s back story when you meet them.

In spite of the great food and service, the restaurant did not do very well and closed a couple of years later. I never saw General Loan again.

That’s today’s entry from the Frankie File kids. Below is the short video clip from NBC News. BE ADVISED: you will probably never see such graphic, real violence anywhere else.

In doing my research for this posting, I came across this interview with Eddie Adams, the photographer. He says that the photo ruined Loan’s life. He was severely wounded in the leg and sent to the states for medical treatment and recovery. Watch this short interview, it’s a very interesting postscript to the whole story and also ties into my part.

This is about as heavy as it comes from me kids. More funny stuff later, I swear!

Frank The Tank

Many of my favorite movies are comedies related to College. Animal House, Back To School, Van Wilder, Tommy Boy and this classic.

Old School features Will Ferrell at his funniest, including this clip.

If you haven’t seen this movie, bring it home from Blockbuster this weekend.

Sympathy For Wall Street

After the Great Stock Market Crash in 1929, many stock brokers jumped to their deaths from office windows along Wall Street.

NICHOLAS ROBERTS/AFP/Getty Images

Photo Credit: NICHOLAS ROBERTS/AFP/Getty Images

In 2008, America is clearly telling financial fat cats to be more careful this go-round.

Manly Bike For Sale

People who know me know that I love to ride my bicycle. And, I’m looking for a new one.

I’m just not sure this is the bike for me.

This is an actual posting on the San Francisco edition of Craig’s List.

I’ll let you click through to read the whole thing (which includes the F-bomb by the way), but here are a couple of choice tidbits:

Bike for sale

What kind of bike? I don’t know, I’m not a bike scientist. What I am though is a manly guy looking to sell his bike. This bike is made out of metal and kick ass spokes.

The back reflector was taken off, but if you think that deters me from riding at night, you’re way wrong. I practiced ninja training in Japan’s mount Fuji for 5 years and the first rule they teach about ninja biking is that back reflectors let the enemy know where you are.

The bike says Giant on the side because it’s referring to my junk, but rest assured even if you have tiny junk that Giant advertisement is going to remain right where it is.

Alrighty then. I encourage to click through to read the really good stuff.

Like I say, probably not the bike for me. Then again, I’m not from San Francisco.

Just like Old Greg, this item was sent in by Chuck Carpenter, a web developer who claims he has no presence on the web for me to link to. Okay Chuck. Whatever you say.

Naturally, I’m convinced this is a bullshit story and am actively looking for links I can provide you where you can learn more about this highly intelligent, very talented, but apparently sketchy, individual. Stay tuned.