Category Archives: Technology

Porn Kills!

As little boys growing up, we all heard the warnings about going blind, growing hair on your palms, burning in hell for eternity, etc.

But apparently, the negative effects of self-gratification are even more severe for women and can include sudden death!

Listen up out there ladies, this is a need-to-know situation.

According to this story on the Daily Mail web site, 30 year-old British nanny Nichola Paginton managed to masturbate to death last October in her Cirencester home.

A 30-year-old woman’s death as she used a sex toy while watching pornography was probably due to her state of sexual excitement, an inquest heard today.

Children’s nanny Nichola Paginton was found dead in bed naked from the waist down last October with pornographic material running on her laptop. A sex toy was discovered next to her.

A Home Office pathologist told the inquest in Gloucester that Miss Paginton died from a sudden heart arrhythmia, probably brought on by her state of arousal.

Gloucestershire coroner Alan Crickmore agreed it was likely that ‘her activity before death’ contributed to the fatal arrhythmia.

I hesitate to make light of someone’s untimely death, so let’s just take what we can learn from poor Nicola’s misfortune and move on:

  1. Always wait 30 minutes after eating
  2. No more than one piece of technology in bed at any time
  3. Stay well hydrated
  4. Lather, rinse, repeat.

The Doll Husband

She never says no

Regular readers know that I often question why women put up with men. But let’s face it ladies, life with you guys isn’t always a joyride.

As quoted from an episode in the original Star Trek series, women are truly “The bringers of pain and delight.”

So what’s a guy to do? You can’t live with ’em and you can’t live without ’em.

Apparently, thousands of American men (like Dave Cat, pictured here with his half-white, half-Japanese “wife” Shidora) have decided that the answer is to pay $6,500 for a lifelike doll.

According to the National Geographic web site promoting their series Taboo:

  • Doll lovers can sometimes be referred to “iDollators,” and seek a community of others online, mashing together the ideas of art and pornography that brings a very thin line between desire, lust, and fetishism.
  • Thousands of men pay $6,500 for each doll.
  • The reason for having a love doll vary among owners. Psychiatrists say there’s no one common denominator behind all love doll owners.
  • For some men, doll love can hinder normal emotional development, since intimacy with real people is an important part of maturity.
  • Men sometimes carry on the complete control over the dolls to relationships with real women, which may inflict harm, emotionally and physically.

In spite of my myriad issues dealing with the opposite sex, I’m not ready to go quite this far.

Yet.

Java Forever!

Alright kids, this one’s an inside joke that’s probably only going to be funny for Uncle Frankie and a small circle of his geeky friends who do programming and web development. But I had to post it nonetheless because it fulfilled my Rule #1: it made me laugh out loud.

While employed at a certain large company in the American Southwest, Your Friend Flicka (that’s me) engaged in a long-running battle with a German-born IT Director over using an a server running an open-source operating system instead of Microsoft .net, which this computer-controlling Kraut insisted on.

Believe me when I tell you, it was a six month-long corporate pissing contest of the highest order between me as the new guy and the long-established IT wonk who simply would not even consider any software or OS that didn’t come from Redmond. Long story short, I won the battle but lost the war.

I apologize to all of you who don’t get the humor of this one and demand to hear from that small number of you who are currently laughing your asses off.

Who’s Your Daddy?

A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered.

Upon their arrival, the doctor said that the hospital was testing an amazing new high-tech machine that would transfer a portion of the mother’s labor pain to the baby’s father.

He asked if they were interested.

Both said they were very much in favor of it.

The doctor set the pain transfer to 10% for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before. But as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and kick it up a notch.

The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer.

The husband was still feeling fine.

The doctor then checked the husband’s blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing.

At this point they decided to try for 50%. The husband continued to feel quite well.

Since the pain transfer was obviously helping the wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him.

The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain and the husband had experienced none.

She and her husband were ecstatic.

When they got home they found the postman dead on the porch.

“Hugs and smiles” to Vicki O for sending this one in.

IBM Supercomputer to Appear on Jeopardy!

This is pretty spooky. According to this article on cnet news, an IBM supercomputer named Watson will compete against two human opponents on the game show Jeopardy! as soon as this fall.

I’ve been a fan of Jeopardy! since back when Art Fleming was the host, but never thought I’d see this day come. I also “auditioned” for Jeopardy! recently using their online testing and failed miserably.

If this machine can not only come up with the answers, but understand and process human speech, vet through the puns and hints, convert the answer to the form of a question – and click the button – faster than a couple of the best trivia players in the world, we’re all in big trouble.

Nice Bush!

I am familiar with the concept of getting some bush inside a car. Putting a car inside a bush? Not so much.

This solar-powered vehicle is a testament to the fact that some people just have too much time on their hands – and not enough bush in their lives!

BTW: I love the fact that this video has no voice-over or explanation whatsoever. I guess the inventor/videographer figures the whole concept is self-explanatory. Silly me. I don’t get it.

Buena arbusta!

The Real Reason You Don’t Want To Watch Sausage Being Made

According to this story from the Associated Press, a man was taken to a hospital after being sucked into a machine at a sausage-making company.

Police said the man’s head and shoulders became stuck in the machine after it somehow activated while being cleaned.

OSHA should have a lot of fun with this one.