According to this article on the BBC News web site, an unknown number of women from Arab and Asian countries travel to Paris each year to have their virginity restored at a specialty plastic surgery clinic.
Why are they doing this? To avoid being ostracized – or possibly murdered – if it is discovered that they had sex before marriage.
They want to ensure that blood is spilled on their wedding night sheets.
For those on a budget, several Chinese manufacturers are marketing “artificial hymens” on the web for around $30. Oh those crazy Chinamen.
Clearly this is one of those “Funny hmm…” stories. There is nothing humorous about it. What is amazing is the hubris of the men and families who are willing to commit “honor murders” against women they supposedly love because they feel shamed by female extramarital sex.
As usual, there are apparently no penalties for the guys who “got lucky” with these girls.
No, really. Every morning I find a message from God in my inbox.
God reaches out to me every day. How am I looking ladies? It was really chilly that day - I swear!
Here’s the one I got this morning:
Ever wonder what would make life’s fleeting pain and sorrow totally and unquestionably “worth it,” Frank?
How about living forever, wildly in love and loved wildly?
Yeah, baby –
As fathers go, I’d say he’s very supportive emotionally. And accessible.
Actually, each day’s email is signed “The Universe,” but I choose to believe that it comes from God. After all, isn’t that what faith’s all about?
Since everybody has a different name for God, I think the guy who generates these emails, Mike Dooley, sticks with the Universe moniker to keep the whole “Name of God” issue from getting in the way of his message, which is “Thoughts become things, dreams come true, and all things remain forever possible.”
Anyone can sign-up to get their own personal email from God every morning, but you have to take an oath:
“In the face of adversity, uncertainty and conflicting sensory information, I hereby pledge to remain ever mindful of the magical, infinite, loving reality in which I live. A reality that conspires tirelessly in my favor.
“I further recognize that living within space and time, as a Creation amongst my Creations, is the ultimate Adventure because thoughts become things, dreams come true and all things remain forever possible.”
“As a Being of Light, I hereby resolve to live, love and be happy, at all costs, no matter what, with reverence and kindness for All. So be it!”
If that’s more of an oath than you’re willing to take, God says he’ll still send you emails every morning if you’ll sign up here.
I took the oath but I’ll have to admit that I don’t always live up to it. God told me he’s okay with that as long as I keep trying.
This 6:56 clip from the Ellen Degeneres Show is priceless. You have to get to about 1:30 before the really fun stuff starts. Fast forward to that point if you like but the first minute or so sets up what happens later.
Gladys Hardy of Austin, Texas is an 88 year-old piece of work who loves Ellen and her show. Apparently she likes a nip or two now and then as well.
And as for me? Sometime in my early 20s the whole crazy business struck me as so profound I felt compelled to write a song about it.
This recording of Testosterone Blues was produced in the late 1980s but written several years earlier. Though the lyrics are spoken in the first person, the voice is intended as that of all confused, helpless men afflicted with TB worldwide.
As for my singing? Now that’s funny!
My body dominates my mind
I can only think about one thing all the time
I need a woman to pacify my brain
And if I don’t get some soon I’m gonna go insane
I’m just a man trying to toe the line
But I’m leading myself to a life a crime with lust
I’m consumed with lust
My needs are not easily filled
Just to get a little people have been known to kill
But it’s a weakness most everybody’s known
In my darkness I am not alone
I know we need to carry on the race
But we’d be better off without a trace of lust
Without a trace of lust
Now you better look out for HIV
Single people out there don’t know what to do or be
I saw it last night on the evening news
Another case of Testosterone Blues
If I’d done just half the things I’ve thought
My natural life would be spent in jail no doubt
But in the Bible just thinking it’s a sin
So I guess old Saint Peter ain’t never gonna let me in
I’m sorry Lord for what I say
But it was You made me this way with lust
When You created lust