Category Archives: Health Issues

Heads On A Plane!

Heads On A Plane!Yikes kids! According to this story on the NBC Dallas web site, a box filled with 40-60 human heads was discovered by a suspicious Southwest Airlines employee in Little Rock.

The employee stopped a courier and asked “What’s in the box?” When the courier professed not to know the answer the airline guy opened the box, looked in and got the surprise of his life.

This is definitely a case of You Know You’re Having A Bad Day At Work When…

Doggy Doo Dough

Doggy Doo Dough

Life Is Good!

According to this story from the AP reported on WTOPNews.com, Steve Wilson, an employee of Doody Calls Pet Waste Removal Services, found $58 in cash sticking out of a pile of poo.

Steve, being the dedicated poo picker that he is, gathered up the soiled bills and returned them to the seen of the grime.

The Association of Professional Animal Waste Specialists says Wilson is the first person in his profession to find and report money in dog poop.

I recently heard Mike Rowe of “Dirty Jobs” fame say that “You shouldn’t follow your passion, you should take it with you” into whatever task you tackle. I wonder what Mike would say about Steve. Maybe Steve’s job is a good candidate for an upcoming episode.

A Spider Bit My Pee Pee!

(Spoken a la “A dingo took my baby!” from the movie “A Cry In The Dark”)

According to this story on the Fox News web site, an unnamed 22 year-old Canadian tourist was nearly killed when a venomous katipo spider bit him on the penis.

The offending arachnid thought he had found a cozy home in our hero’s shorts which were left on the beach. But, after returning from a bracing skinny-dip in the surf, redonning his shorts and falling asleep, our boy awoke with a start!

Within minutes, the spider’s venom was causing him to have agonizing chest pains, a racing heart, high blood pressure and severe swelling to his penis.

I hate when that happens!

Our turgid Canadian recovered completely – after spending 16 days in the hospital. YIKES!

I doubt he’ll be cast as the next Smiling Bob on those Enzyte commercials – though I don’t doubt he could give Bob a run for his money in the junk department.

Mister Popularity

Yes ladies, he’s young – and not very attractive… but oh so talented!

Let’s face it, for some reason God loves this boy. And, for some reason, so do all the girls he knows.

I May Have A Small Crank, But My Police Baton Is Just The Right Size

Respect My Authori-TIE!!

Maybe Big Brother isn’t so big after all.

According to this story on The Smoking Gun web site, a TSA employee named Rolando Negrin has been arrested for assault after allegedly beating the crap out of a co-worker with a police baton.

What prompted the beating? Apparently Negrin could no longer bear the daily humiliation he was receiving from his co-workers after a security scanner revealed the diminutive size of his manhood during a training session.

“The X-ray revealed that [Negrin] has a small penis and co-workers made fun of him on a daily basis,” reported cops. Following his arrest, Negrin told police that he “could not take the jokes anymore and lost his mind.”

This one really cracks me up. According to Israeli airport security officials, these scanners are absolutely useless when it comes to stopping a smart, determined terrorist. That’s why they are not used at Ben-Gurion International Airport. Clearly however, they’re great when it comes to party jokes!

"These scanners are proven to cause shrinkage. No, really."

Luckily, I don’t know what it would be like to go through life as a man wife the wrong size tool (no posted comments from my ex-wife to the contrary will be approved for publication), but I’ve got to figure it’s pretty tough! The last thing any man with this problem needs is for everyone at his workplace to have photographic evidence – and use it against him on a daily basis. What a nightmare.

What Is The Cost of Virginity?

About $3,600 American, in case you’re interested.

According to this article on the BBC News web site, an unknown number of women from Arab and Asian countries travel to Paris each year to have their virginity restored at a specialty plastic surgery clinic.

Why are they doing this? To avoid being ostracized – or possibly murdered – if it is discovered that they had sex before marriage.

They want to ensure that blood is spilled on their wedding night sheets.

Romantic, eh?

For those on a budget, several Chinese manufacturers are marketing “artificial hymens” on the web for around $30. Oh those crazy Chinamen.

Clearly this is one of those “Funny hmm…” stories. There is nothing humorous about it. What is amazing is the hubris of the men and families who are willing to commit “honor murders” against women they supposedly love because they feel shamed by female extramarital sex.

As usual, there are apparently no penalties for the guys who “got lucky” with these girls.

How Old Is Too Old To Breastfeed?

You decide: is six too old?

How about thirty? Is this too old?

Shamelessly copied from Dvorak.com/blog

Any comments?