Category Archives: Children & Pets

Kiwis Invented The Condom, But Limeys Perfected It

In 1872 the Kiwi’s (New Zealanders) invented the condom by using a sheep intestine.

In 1873 the English refined the idea by taking the intestine out of the sheep.

Fred The Cat, Cool Personified

This is Fred. He’s a cat. He did not pose for this photo. Fred don’t pose.

How YOU doin'?

Fred’s just hanging out, watching football and waiting for some ladies to stop by.

Normally, I’m not much of a cat person but I think Fred and Uncle Frankie would get along just fine. Hey Fred, get me a beer will ya’?

Props to KB for capturing this image and sending it in.

Attack of the Pool Poopers

Andrew "Am I going to be someone's jailhouse bitch?" Harris is on the left, while Michael "Yeah I did it and I'd do it again" Cline is on the right

There are some acts that are so beyond stupidity that they cannot be attributed to mental defect, drug abuse or youthful idiocy.

Such is the case of these two morons, who were recently arrested for throwing their own feces into the huge swimming pool at St. Petersburg’s swankiest hotel, the Renaissance Vinoy Resort & Golf Club.

The two idiots in question, eighteen-year-old Andrew Harris and 19-year-old Michael Cline were captured on surveillance video scaling the fence around the pool and then, well, this quote from abcactionnews.com says it all:

According to a police report the video shows Harris  “deficated in his shorts, reached into his shorts and fling feces all over the pool.” Police say Harris then reached into his shorts, grabbed another handful of feces, dove into the pool and smeared it along the bottom of the pool in the shape of an “X.”

Both teens then climbed into the hotel’s hot tub where police found them a short time later.

Harris decided the best way to pull off this caper was to shit his pants? For some reason that has never occurred to me as the optimal course of action – particularly as the first step in my plan.

These two boneheads make me ashamed to be a white male, ashamed that I was ever their age, hell they make me ashamed to be a human being!

I can hardly wait to hear what their punishment will be. Stay tuned…

Cats That Look Like Hitler

This is an odd site, but funny:
Cats That Look Like Hitler

Here are a couple of sample pics.

Who’s Your Daddy?

A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered.

Upon their arrival, the doctor said that the hospital was testing an amazing new high-tech machine that would transfer a portion of the mother’s labor pain to the baby’s father.

He asked if they were interested.

Both said they were very much in favor of it.

The doctor set the pain transfer to 10% for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before. But as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and kick it up a notch.

The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer.

The husband was still feeling fine.

The doctor then checked the husband’s blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing.

At this point they decided to try for 50%. The husband continued to feel quite well.

Since the pain transfer was obviously helping the wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him.

The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain and the husband had experienced none.

She and her husband were ecstatic.

When they got home they found the postman dead on the porch.

“Hugs and smiles” to Vicki O for sending this one in.