Category Archives: Bathroom Humor

I May Have A Small Crank, But My Police Baton Is Just The Right Size

Respect My Authori-TIE!!

Maybe Big Brother isn’t so big after all.

According to this story on The Smoking Gun web site, a TSA employee named Rolando Negrin has been arrested for assault after allegedly beating the crap out of a co-worker with a police baton.

What prompted the beating? Apparently Negrin could no longer bear the daily humiliation he was receiving from his co-workers after a security scanner revealed the diminutive size of his manhood during a training session.

“The X-ray revealed that [Negrin] has a small penis and co-workers made fun of him on a daily basis,” reported cops. Following his arrest, Negrin told police that he “could not take the jokes anymore and lost his mind.”

This one really cracks me up. According to Israeli airport security officials, these scanners are absolutely useless when it comes to stopping a smart, determined terrorist. That’s why they are not used at Ben-Gurion International Airport. Clearly however, they’re great when it comes to party jokes!

"These scanners are proven to cause shrinkage. No, really."

Luckily, I don’t know what it would be like to go through life as a man wife the wrong size tool (no posted comments from my ex-wife to the contrary will be approved for publication), but I’ve got to figure it’s pretty tough! The last thing any man with this problem needs is for everyone at his workplace to have photographic evidence – and use it against him on a daily basis. What a nightmare.

The Human Caterpillar

The Human CaterpillarWhat is there to say about this picture?

Boys will be boys?

The after-party at a Boy Scout jamboree?

Fantasy night at the seminary?

Plumber cleavage to the fifth power?

Yes folks, I could go on like this for hours.

I’m not sure who came up with this great idea for a photograph but as near as I can tell it was taken in Japan.

Many thanks to Dunc’s mother for sending this one in over the transom.

Pastor Gas

Alright, I know it’s juvenile and scatological but, God help me, it’s funny.

I find very few things funnier than an over-the-top televangelist, but it turns out that syncing 29 random fart sounds to this guy’s squints turns out to be one of those few things.

Remember: Don’t Vomit on the Police Captain

Classy Matthew Clemens

According to this article in the Baltimore Sun, 21 year-old Matthew Clemens of Cherry Hill, New Jersey decided it was a good idea to purposely vomit on the man sitting in front of him, and on the man’s 11 year-old daughter while he was at it.

Sadly, what Classy Clemens didn’t count on was the man being a police captain. Damn! And it seemed like such a good idea otherwise.

As you can see from his picture, Matthew was also surprised to learn of the reaction of other fans sitting nearby who pummeled him repeatedly while holding him until uniformed officers arrived.

Mr. Matt is being held on $36,000 bond and is charge with reckless endangerment, assault, disorderly conduct and “related charges.”

“It was the most vile, disgusting thing I’ve ever seen,” Vangelo said Friday. “He has two fingers down his throat, he lunges forward and vomits on myself and my 11-year-old.”

I’m sure Matthew and his cellies are sharing some big yucks over this one right about now.

Many thanks to Jason for sharing this story on Facebook.

Blowing Mr. DeVito

I don’t know why I can’t embed this video directly into the blog but it is so GD funny that you MUST click the photo below and watch it. (This is a direct order from your superior soldier!)

Blowing Mr. DeVito

Click the photo above and prepare for a laugh treat.

Provided that you like extremely raunchy sexual humor (without the gratuitous skin shots) you will absolutely LOVE this. And you can take that to the bank, because that’s an Uncle Frankie Guarangoddamntee!

Many thanks to RJ for this hilarious submission.

Global Warming?

Things got pretty chilly at one wild animal theme park in Florida this winter. How cold? You tell me.

Talk about your Testosterone Blues!

Fanfare Please

I wonder what 20th Century Fox thinks about this little piece of film.

Talent is like pornography: it’s hard to define but you know it when you see it.