Category Archives: Advertising

Hate The iPhone? Watch This!

Give it a least a minute before you give up. This is funny.

“Fuck it. My sister says Walgreen’s has iPhones in stock.”

Guaranteed B.S. Removal

This one’s sure to be a hot seller!

Be sure to tell ’em Uncle Frankie sent ya.

What the Hell IS Victoria’s Secret?

Despite wondering for years,
are you sure you really want to know?

Now You Know.

The Greatest GEICO Ad You’ll NEVER See

Sammy Pimps Suntory

Check out Shammy Davis, Jr. beat-boxin’ his way through a 30-second spot for the Japanese single malt whiskey brand Suntory:

You go Candy Man!

Rednecks, Dogs, Crawling Distance to Metro

This home is dog-friendly!

Below is an actual ad I found in the “Roommates” section of Craigslist. Enjoy.

If you be a redneck, or wanna become one, or are already in training, then this might be the house for you. (do rednecks use craigslist?) This house is a small, old house on 1/2 acre with 2 redneck males, 1 non-redneck female, 1 skater dude, 3 dog, and 2 cats. We have an extra room available. Really. Upstairs. but it doesn’t look like it. It looks sort of like , watch your head type of thing. As if you were a NBA freak having to duck everywhere you go. Not really. Plenty of headroom, if your not taller than say, 6’5′
. . We don’t care about smokers or how ugly your girlfriend / boyfriend is, but ya gotta take ’em outside. Just pay the rent on time and you can live happy, happy, happy. We have a large fenced back yard (about 1/2 acre) for those of you that might want to bring your stinkin’ ass dog. There’s also a couple of grills (gas and charcoal) and a wood smoker for your BBQ enjoyment while you toss some horse-shoes and some beers while lounging on the hammock that is strung between two fruit trees. We can also turn on the sprinkler for you water-sports enthusiasts. We have us a wood-burning fireplace insert that can heat the whole dang house if we wanted to, but no need so we are busy with the grills and smokers and just carrying on outside.
High speed internet / Cable TV . Close to billiard beer joints, and an old folks home if this house gets to be too much for ya.
. I do charge extra for utilities, shared equally, and if you order lots of pay-per-view from the cable TV to watch grown men beat the crap out of each other there will be a penalty and you will lose your hammock rights for an hour, not to mention the extra cost and agony of watching that fine sport. Parking is limited, but available, if you have a 4X4 with fat tires. Garage parking is available for motor cycles.

Crawling distance to Franconia / Springfield Metro Rail, VRE, Amtrak, Greyhound, and a 7-11. Shopping is up the road about spittin’ distance. Or you can pick from our vast home-grown vegetable garden (while you do the weeding, of course)
No lease. Month to month. Stay as long or as short as you like. One month deposit required. Extra deposit for pets or ugly boyfriend / girlfriend.
For those of you with dogs, we have a fire hydrant located conveniently across the street. ( see photo below )

For more info just send a frickin’ e-mail.
p.s. Non-rednecks welcome too, I reckon.. But let me be honest to all you young women, even though a woman lives here. This house will probably not be suited to your tastes unless you grew up with lots of brothers, and animals. This ain’t what you would call a “Good Housekeeping” type environment. No sir it ain’t, but the dogs love it.
walk to metro
walk to Metro
Walk to Metro
Walk to metro
WaLk t0 Metr0
Did I mention you can WALK TO THE METRO ?

I shouldn’t have. It should read:


$490.00 per month plus equal share of utilities

p.s. I not drunk

I’ll let you know when I move in kids!

Uncle Frankie’s Gift Shop

Uncle Frankie's Dog Spike

No animals are harmed in the production of Uncle Frankie products

After providing millions of ungrateful visitors free chuckles for nearly three years, Uncle Frankie is selling out.

That’s right, I’ve jumped the shark and decided that it’s time to start making some money off of this site.

My first venture is Uncle Frankie’s Gift Shop, which you can visit by clicking this link or by clicking on any of these photos.

You can combine any design with any product. Some samples are shown below.

Thanks in advance for your patronage, you cheap bastards!

For that special Brazilian brew

You be the judge

For that special person in your life

Hey kids, what time is it?

For the woman who has everything

When you just can't decide what it's gonna' be tonight

The question on the mind of 10 million Teabaggers

I am nothing if not helpful

Tag line for the web site "Conjugal Harmony"

Life is a series of choices

I ain't sayin' nothin', I'm just sayin'