Porn Kills!

As little boys growing up, we all heard the warnings about going blind, growing hair on your palms, burning in hell for eternity, etc.

But apparently, the negative effects of self-gratification are even more severe for women and can include sudden death!

Listen up out there ladies, this is a need-to-know situation.

According to this story on the Daily Mail web site, 30 year-old British nanny Nichola Paginton managed to masturbate to death last October in her Cirencester home.

A 30-year-old woman’s death as she used a sex toy while watching pornography was probably due to her state of sexual excitement, an inquest heard today.

Children’s nanny Nichola Paginton was found dead in bed naked from the waist down last October with pornographic material running on her laptop. A sex toy was discovered next to her.

A Home Office pathologist told the inquest in Gloucester that Miss Paginton died from a sudden heart arrhythmia, probably brought on by her state of arousal.

Gloucestershire coroner Alan Crickmore agreed it was likely that ‘her activity before death’ contributed to the fatal arrhythmia.

I hesitate to make light of someone’s untimely death, so let’s just take what we can learn from poor Nicola’s misfortune and move on:

  1. Always wait 30 minutes after eating
  2. No more than one piece of technology in bed at any time
  3. Stay well hydrated
  4. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Advertisements

2 responses to “Porn Kills!

  1. Frank, you keep coming up with the greatest things…this one is too much, I almost choked to death on it!

  2. franksfunnies

    Glad you liked it Chuck.

    Do I amuse you?

    Just don’t choke your chicken to death and everything will be okay.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s