Mr. Whipple Picks The Wrong Place To Pass Out Drunk

Where's the party Dude?

Where's the party Dude?

Far be it from Uncle Frankie to disparage someone for passing out drunk. This is one behavior, however, where picking the right spot is critical.

Sadly, 48 year-old Largo, Florida resident Jerry Whipple didn’t stop to give this choice much thought Wednesday morning.

According to this story on, Whipple chose a baby-sized pool floaty to pass-out on, in the ocean. While no one (including Mr. Whipple) can say for sure where or when he started his maritime adventure, it must have taken hours for him to float over a mile from shore before being found around 12:30 p.m. by a passing boater who called the Coast Guard.

The fact that he was spotted at all was a complete fluke. Even the passing boater thought what he saw on the surface was just random debris and almost chose to ignore it.

Mr. Whipple didn’t wake up when the boater blew his horn or shouted and in fact never came-to until he was hauled up on the Coast Guard vessel, at which point he had no idea where he was or what day or time it was.

“He was sitting on a small pool raft. Had no idea where he was, didn’t know what time of day it was, how long he was out for, or even how far off shore he was,” says Petty Officer Brodie MacDonald of the U.S. Coast Guard. “The winds were blowing him further out. Really is quite lucky he is still alive today.”

No word yet whether he will face any charges though the Coast Guard can file charges for operating a “boat” under the influence of alcohol, no matter how small it may be.

Hey Mr. Whipple – don’t squeeze the shark bait!

One response to “Mr. Whipple Picks The Wrong Place To Pass Out Drunk

  1. No NOW I have heard of everything! Dumbass.

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