Testosterone Blues

Take 19 parts Carbon, 28 parts Hydrogen and 2 parts Oxygen, mix ’em all up and what do you get?

Possibly the most powerful chemical known to humankind.

With His eye on perpetuating the species, God knew what He was doing when He whipped up this little baby.

Unfortunately, He forgot to list the side effects.

It’s crazy. Men will rape, kill, abuse children, start wars, ruin their business or political career, cheat on women they love and do stupid stuff like pay a million euros to deflower an Italian supermodel – just to get their rocks off.

Don’t believe me? Ask Bill Clinton, Marion Barry, John Wayne Gacy, Jimmy Swaggart, Wilbur Mills, Ted Bundy, Al Bundy, Jim McGreevey, Elliott Spitzer, Gary Hart, Hugh Grant, Jack The Ripper, Kwame Kilpatrick, Eddie Murphy, John F. Kennedy, Pat O’Brien, Thomas Jefferson, Barney Frank, Joey Buttafuoco, Jim Bakker, Frank Gifford, John Edwards, Old Greg, Wayne Hays, Sampson, Harry Nilsson, Paris, Napoleon, Adam, any random collection of British politicians or just about any woman who’s ever had to deal with any man,

And as for me? Sometime in my early 20s the whole crazy business struck me as so profound I felt compelled to write a song about it.

This recording of Testosterone Blues was produced in the late 1980s but written several years earlier. Though the lyrics are spoken in the first person, the voice is intended as that of all confused, helpless men afflicted with TB worldwide.

As for my singing? Now that’s funny!

Testosterone Blues
My body dominates my mind
I can only think about one thing all the time
I need a woman to pacify my brain
And if I don’t get some soon I’m gonna go insane
I’m just a man trying to toe the line
But I’m leading myself to a life a crime with lust
I’m consumed with lust

My needs are not easily filled
Just to get a little people have been known to kill
But it’s a weakness most everybody’s known
In my darkness I am not alone
I know we need to carry on the race
But we’d be better off without a trace of lust
Without a trace of lust

Now you better look out for HIV
Single people out there don’t know what to do or be
I saw it last night on the evening news
Another case of Testosterone Blues

If I’d done just half the things I’ve thought
My natural life would be spent in jail no doubt
But in the Bible just thinking it’s a sin
So I guess old Saint Peter ain’t never gonna let me in
I’m sorry Lord for what I say
But it was You made me this way with lust
When You created lust

Copyright 2008 | All Rights Reserved

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6 responses to “Testosterone Blues

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  6. Hey, don’t dis my favorite steroid like that….

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