Category Archives: Zonies and Zonisms

Home Depot Special: Mexican Recliners

Sorry, not available in Arizona.

Why I Support Arizona SB 1070

I’ve given a lot of thought to this and have even read the actual law online (unlike Barack Obama, Eric Holder or Janet Napolitano) before gracing you all with my opinion on the matter.

The fact is that those of us lucky enough to be American citizens have to identify ourselves, our citizenship, date of birth, place of residence, Social Security number and God knows what else on a daily basis here in the land of the free. So why shouldn’t illegal aliens be expected to do the same? Do they have more rights than legal citizens?

I hate Big Brother more than most people. I don’t like having to present my ID to the cops, at the bank, the DMV, the hospital or anywhere else. Screw ‘em I say! But what choice do I have? That’s just the way it is and I have to suck it up along with EVERYONE else.

If I don’t want to live in a society with laws I can go build a cabin in Montana someplace and catch up on my reading. And if illegal immigrants don’t want to deal with it they don’t have to stay.

Today’s posting is spurred by an email I received which is quoted in its entirety below.

Consider this. As an ordinary American citizen I must show ID when:

  1. When pulled over by the Police.
  2. Making purchases on my credit card.
  3. When I verify medical insurance for a doctor’s appointment.
  4. When filling out a credit card or loan application.
  5. When applying for or renewing a driver’s license.
  6. When applying for any kind of insurance.
  7. When filling out college applications.
  8. When donating blood.
  9. When obtaining controlled prescription drugs.
  10. When making some debit purchases, especially if I’m out of state.
  11. When collecting a boarding pass for airline or train travel.
  12. When proving I am of legal age to buy booze and cigarettes.
  13. When voting at the polls.
  14. When applying for Social Security, Medicare & Medicaid benefits.
  15. When enlisting in the military.
  16. When entering a military base.
  17. When applying for food stamps.
  18. When applying for disability or economic assistance.
  19. When cashing a check.
  20. When entering my place of work.
  21. When applying for or renewing a passport

I’m sure there are more instances, but the point is that we citizens of the USA are required to prove who we are nearly every day. Why should people in this country illegally be exempt?

Last but not least, there is nothing in Arizona’s state law which is already not part of Federal law. So why did Arizona write and enact this law? Because the Feds were not enforcing the laws already on their books! Don’t be surprised if you start seeing more of these types of laws being enacted in states across the country.

Your thoughts?

Dude, I’ll Trade You This iPod and Some Chronic for that Awesome iPad!

Jacob Walker, AKA Dude!

Only in Arizona…

According to this story on the ABC15 web site, a 20 year-old Gilbert, Arizona resident named Jacob Walker posted an ad on craigslist offering to trade an iPod Touch and about seven grams of weed for a 32G iPad.

Dude! What a sweet deal!

Unfortunately for Jacob, the local cops were the first responders to his ad. When Jacob and his homie Jacob Valdere showed upĀ  and showed the cops their chronic, the cuffs came out and the curtain came down.

Now both Jacobs are under arrest for possession and the attempted sale of an illegal substance.

iPod + Weed = iPad?

Dudes! What? Were you stoned or something?

Even old Freewheelin’ Frank (a member of the Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers back in the 70s) knew better than to advertise. This is not cool dudes, not cool at all.

GEESH! Kids these days!

Arizona Responds to California’s Boycott

According to this article on the Talking Points Memo web site, Arizona is losing tens of millions of dollars in lost convention and tourism business due to boycotts in response to the new illegal immigration law.

But the boys at the Exurban League don’t really give a shit.

Latest Arizona Poll

The latest telephone poll taken by the Arizona Governor’s Office asked whether people who live in Arizona think illegal immigration is a serious problem:

29% responded, “Yes, it is a serious problem.”

71% responded, “No es una problema seriosa.”

Sheriff Joe Invents “Pedal Vision”

One of the few things I don’t miss about living in Arizona is Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio.

You may have heard of Sheriff Joe. He’s the one that makes his prisoners wear pink underwear and live outside in tents in the sweltering Arizona sun. Don’t be surprised if you see him running for President some day.

Well he’s outdone himself this time with the invention of “Pedal Vision.” Now I’ve heard of Spank-A-Vision and Smell-A-Vision but only Sheriff Joe could have create a machine that prisoners have to pedal in order to watch TV.

As of April first, all Maricopa County Jail prisoners who wish to watch television will have to pedal a stationary bike connected to a generator to keep the TV turned on.

To Joe’s credit, he’s simply trying to make living in jail as uncomfortable as possible. Hard to argue with the success he’s had in that effort.

Tits, Ass… and Cholesterol

Went to lunch at a place called The Heart Attack Grill on Thursday with a few friends. Unbelievable.

It’s like a cross between a strip club and a Burger King. Nothing on the menu but gigantic burgers and hand-cut fries deep-fried in lard. One of their many innovations is an all-you-can-eat french fry bar. Why didn’t I think of that?

Personally, I’m not offended. In fact, I’m fascinated by the business model this guy has put together!

This is a franchise waiting to happen. The burgers are dynamite but the fries are not for me. But the vast selection of beers and tequila is right up my alley. And the girls are really hot!

Believe me gentlemen, if you’ve been looking for an excuse to fly out to Arizona for a golf vacation, the Heart Attack Grill is it!