A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered.
Upon their arrival, the doctor said that the hospital was testing an amazing new high-tech machine that would transfer a portion of the mother’s labor pain to the baby’s father.
He asked if they were interested.
Both said they were very much in favor of it.
The doctor set the pain transfer to 10% for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before. But as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and kick it up a notch.
The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer.
The husband was still feeling fine.
The doctor then checked the husband’s blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing.
At this point they decided to try for 50%. The husband continued to feel quite well.
Since the pain transfer was obviously helping the wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him.
The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain and the husband had experienced none.
She and her husband were ecstatic.
When they got home they found the postman dead on the porch.
“Hugs and smiles” to Vicki O for sending this one in.
This is pretty spooky. According to this article on cnet news, an IBM supercomputer named Watson will compete against two human opponents on the game show Jeopardy! as soon as this fall.
I’ve been a fan of Jeopardy! since back when Art Fleming was the host, but never thought I’d see this day come. I also “auditioned” for Jeopardy! recently using their online testing and failed miserably.
If this machine can not only come up with the answers, but understand and process human speech, vet through the puns and hints, convert the answer to the form of a question – and click the button – faster than a couple of the best trivia players in the world, we’re all in big trouble.
Posted in Computers, Funny, hmmm..., In The News, Rated G for Gee, Ain't That Swell?, Show Business, Signs of the Apocalypse, Technology, Television, Videos
Tagged computers, ibm, jeopardy, Signs of the Apocalypse, technology
I am familiar with the concept of getting some bush inside a car. Putting a car inside a bush? Not so much.
This solar-powered vehicle is a testament to the fact that some people just have too much time on their hands – and not enough bush in their lives!
BTW: I love the fact that this video has no voice-over or explanation whatsoever. I guess the inventor/videographer figures the whole concept is self-explanatory. Silly me. I don’t get it.
According to this story from the Associated Press, a man was taken to a hospital after being sucked into a machine at a sausage-making company.
Police said the man’s head and shoulders became stuck in the machine after it somehow activated while being cleaned.
OSHA should have a lot of fun with this one.
Respect My Authori-TIE!!
Maybe Big Brother isn’t so big after all.
According to this story on The Smoking Gun web site, a TSA employee named Rolando Negrin has been arrested for assault after allegedly beating the crap out of a co-worker with a police baton.
What prompted the beating? Apparently Negrin could no longer bear the daily humiliation he was receiving from his co-workers after a security scanner revealed the diminutive size of his manhood during a training session.
“The X-ray revealed that [Negrin] has a small penis and co-workers made fun of him on a daily basis,” reported cops. Following his arrest, Negrin told police that he “could not take the jokes anymore and lost his mind.”
This one really cracks me up. According to Israeli airport security officials, these scanners are absolutely useless when it comes to stopping a smart, determined terrorist. That’s why they are not used at Ben-Gurion International Airport. Clearly however, they’re great when it comes to party jokes!
"These scanners are proven to cause shrinkage. No, really."
Luckily, I don’t know what it would be like to go through life as a man wife the wrong size tool (no posted comments from my ex-wife to the contrary will be approved for publication), but I’ve got to figure it’s pretty tough! The last thing any man with this problem needs is for everyone at his workplace to have photographic evidence – and use it against him on a daily basis. What a nightmare.
Posted in Bathroom Humor, Crime and Punishment, Health Issues, In The News, Law & Government, Manly Men, Planes, Trains & Automobiles, Rated PG for Potentially Godless, Technology, Testosterone Blues, You Can't Fix Stupid
Tagged body scanners, crime, Government, penis size, technology, TSA, violence