Calling Mr. Hardcock! Calling Mr. Hardcock!

I don’t know if you’re aware of the fairly long-running game of comparing the garbled transcriptions that users are getting from the free Google Voice service. It’s pretty big out there.

And now I know why.

Here is the first few words of a transcription I received from a Google Voice mail left for me this evening.

“Hey Frank, hard cock for with the A O X F Group, and I know it would be a long shot reaching you tonight, but…”

I have not altered a word.

In case you’re wondering, the caller’s actual name is Art Koster.

A “long shot?” “Reaching” me? I could go on like this all night!

Google: What’s not to like?

Java Forever!

Alright kids, this one’s an inside joke that’s probably only going to be funny for Uncle Frankie and a small circle of his geeky friends who do programming and web development. But I had to post it nonetheless because it fulfilled my Rule #1: it made me laugh out loud.

While employed at a certain large company in the American Southwest, Your Friend Flicka (that’s me) engaged in a long-running battle with a German-born IT Director over using an a server running an open-source operating system instead of Microsoft .net, which this computer-controlling Kraut insisted on.

Believe me when I tell you, it was a six month-long corporate pissing contest of the highest order between me as the new guy and the long-established IT wonk who simply would not even consider any software or OS that didn’t come from Redmond. Long story short, I won the battle but lost the war.

I apologize to all of you who don’t get the humor of this one and demand to hear from that small number of you who are currently laughing your asses off.

The Real Reason You Don’t Want To Watch Sausage Being Made

According to this story from the Associated Press, a man was taken to a hospital after being sucked into a machine at a sausage-making company.

Police said the man’s head and shoulders became stuck in the machine after it somehow activated while being cleaned.

OSHA should have a lot of fun with this one.

Arizona Responds to California’s Boycott

According to this article on the Talking Points Memo web site, Arizona is losing tens of millions of dollars in lost convention and tourism business due to boycotts in response to the new illegal immigration law.

But the boys at the Exurban League don’t really give a shit.

Uncle Frankie’s Gift Shop

No animals are harmed in the production of Uncle Frankie products

After providing millions of ungrateful visitors free chuckles for nearly three years, Uncle Frankie is selling out.

That’s right, I’ve jumped the shark and decided that it’s time to start making some money off of this site.

My first venture is Uncle Frankie’s Gift Shop, which you can visit by clicking this link or by clicking on any of these photos.

You can combine any design with any product. Some samples are shown below.

Thanks in advance for your patronage, you cheap bastards!

For that special Brazilian brew

You be the judge

For that special person in your life

Hey kids, what time is it?

For the woman who has everything

When you just can't decide what it's gonna' be tonight

The question on the mind of 10 million Teabaggers

I am nothing if not helpful

Tag line for the web site "Conjugal Harmony"

Life is a series of choices

I ain't sayin' nothin', I'm just sayin'