Stuff Frank Finds Funny

Richard and Mayumi Heene’s “Wife Swap” Performances

October 4, 2008 · 57 Comments

Well, I hope everyone took my advice and watched Wife Swap last night.

Richard Heene Blows His Wife's Mind

Richard Heene Blows His Wife's Mind

As promised: Richard Heene did not disappoint!

The real surprise to me was Mayumi. While I don’t know her as well as I do Richard, I was shocked and amazed by her gutsy, heartfelt outbursts and approach to her new husband and family.

By the end of the show, both wives came across as heroes and both husbands looked like buffoons.

No surprise there – either on Wife Swap specifically or in American mass media generally. From the original “Honey, the Ajax turned blue!” to the most recent spots from Lowe’s, dad is always a dufus.

I’m going to see if I can get Richard and Mayumi to do an interview with me to post here. Stay tuned.

In the meantime, post your comments on the show, the Heene’s and the sad state of Dad’s rep in America. Let’s hear it Pops!

Other posts on this blog about Richard Heene and Mayumi Heene

Categories: Children & Pets · Funny, hmmm... · Manly Men · Marriage & Relationships · Rated G for Gee, Ain't That Swell? · Richard and Mayumi Heene · Show Business · Signs of the Apocalypse · Television

57 responses so far ↓

  • Raleana // October 4, 2008 at 4:22 pm | Reply

    Please encourage Richard to seek professional psychological help when you interview him. No amount of editing on the part of ABC could make him look like a “normal” individual. From the kooky song he sang for Karin to the explosion over her purchasing new bicycle helmets, Richard screams “BI POLAR” like nobody I’ve ever seen!!!!

  • franksfunnies // October 4, 2008 at 4:46 pm | Reply

    Professionals cannot help Richard.

    No amount of skill or science is sufficient to defeat his will. Heene is as Heene does. And one never knows what Heene will do next.

    Just as no amount of editing could make him look normal, no Hollywood magic could make him appear as frenetic as he did last night on television, and every day of his life in person.

    As for bi-polar, Richard is quint-polar and more.

  • Tiffany // October 4, 2008 at 8:00 pm | Reply

    Richard’s “crazy genius” was not at all disturbing. His contempt and disdain for women was. Hope comments along the lines as women are useless after 25, sagging after 25, liking them to keep their “childlike” wonder were an act for the camera. Kids that old needing mom to put their socks and shoes and and him expecting it to be done by his wife. Seriously what kinda of man calls a woman a bitch while holding his young son? Wonder what type of esteem they have for women when they grow up? Seesh. How long until until Mayumi is replaced with an 18 year old mail order from Moscow?

  • James // December 20, 2008 at 1:51 am | Reply

    This guy is batshit crazy and this eccentric genius idea you are trying to push doesn’t hold any water. If I were you I would be humiliated to be associated with Richard Heene. He either has a severe mental disorder, an amphetamine problem or both. This pseudo-scientist is surrounded by too many stupid people who tell him he’s smart. He is teaching behaviors to his children that are going to hinder their ability to function in society. What a mess! Please do the world a favor and get him off illicit drugs or on some kind of prescribed psychotropic medication.

    • franksfunnies // December 21, 2008 at 5:27 am | Reply

      “Batshit crazy”?

      Yeah, I’d say that describes Richard. I can’t argue with any of the points you have made.

      I will only say this: I knew Richard for years before he hit the big time on network television. He is a real person with flaws and insecurities like the rest of us.

      Why does Mayumi stay with him? I have no idea. She is a sweet, intelligent, talented woman whom I have always been proud to know. Who can figure out any man/woman relationship? Not me.

      Cut some Richard some slack sir. He’s no better nor worse than you or I in the human being department. The only difference between him and us is that his life is up on network TV for everyone to see and judge.

      BTW: Richard does not do drugs – of any kind. What you see is what you get with Richard Heene.

  • Quinn // December 20, 2008 at 2:00 am | Reply

    To see Mayumi crying “your boys are suffering”, summed up my same profound concern for her own boys. I am so deeply deeply disturbed by this episode of Wife Swap, which I accidentally happened upon today, that I was compelled to make sure I wasn’t the only one to have been angered and upset by this. Richard is not a “mad scientist” (nor a “good father” as he claims) he is a mentally unstable, aggressive, completely irrational, disrespectful, sexist, emotionally retarded, chauvinist with acute anger issues who needs professional psychiatric help immediately. As a woman, to see another woman put up with such degrading treatment is harrowing. As a child carer, to see three beautiful innocent boys, subjected to such aggression and abusive behaviour; for them to grow up thinking that is normal or acceptable, brings me to tears. I believe the network has a responsibility to step in and report Richard’s behaviour to authorities. He is not cute, or endearing, he is out and out abusive. And by no means do I buy the manipulative performance at the end of the episode. That is exactly how men like him continue to behave like beasts, and woman continue to accept it.

    • franksfunnies // December 21, 2008 at 5:32 am | Reply

      I’m sorry that the episode upset you so much. As someone who knows the Heenes off-camera, I hope you will be comforted to know that both Mayumi and the kids are very happy and well-adjusted. They don’t take Richard any more seriously than I do. Perhaps that’s not a good way to look at your dad but, as a dad myself, I can tell you that everyone from every mother’s son to Madison Avenue views dads as idiots.

      Richard and Mayumi’s children are beautiful, intelligent and socially integrated. If you need something to worry about, find something else. Believe it or not, this is a very happy family.

      Frank

  • Swap of Horrors - Richard and Mayumi Heene’s “Wife Swap” Performances // February 1, 2009 at 8:11 am | Reply

    [...] Go here to see the original: Richard and Mayumi Heene’s “Wife Swap” Performances [...]

  • Drew // March 14, 2009 at 1:13 am | Reply

    I just watched the 2nd swap the Heene family was on. I personally wanted to wash their boys mouths out with soap by the end of the show. Such language & disrespect in such small children is apalling! I did not find any respect in mayumi or Richard-what is wrong with these people- even though he apologized, for a grown man to throw milk on a guest in his house was revolting. I amnot sure he is functioning with a complete mind, ok he is a genius-whatever-that is no excuse for his rudeness. And Mayumi seems to facilitate both his craziness and her sons’ horrid behavior.The criticism of the other man’s hairstyle was completely out of line- what difference does it make how he wore his hair. The psychic has the patience of a saint-god love her! Editing aside I would worry about the Heene family-

  • Jenn // March 14, 2009 at 2:21 am | Reply

    I am also watching the second episode featuring the Heene family, and I am once again appalled and disgusted at Richard’s behavior. His children may be conditioned to think that how their father acts is normal and acceptable, but let me tell you, a man yelling and screaming and throwing things at women? It’s horribly abusive. And in general, his attitude and comments to and about women are disgusting and abrasive.

    • franksfunnies // March 14, 2009 at 3:50 am | Reply

      Take a chill pill Jenn. Richard is out of control. That’s obvious. But I’ve seen worse fathers. Kids adapt, they deal, grow up and behave however they choose. I’m not endorsing Richard’s behavior. All I’m saying is that I know him as a person and what you are seeing is him overacting for the camera.

  • Janine // September 2, 2009 at 5:40 pm | Reply

    Richard Heene is clearly a misogynist that lacks basic self control. Maybe Richard can convince young girls(under 25) that he is cool/sane, but no adult woman in there right mind would put up with his behavior. His derogatory comments re: women over 25 are disrespectful mostly to his own wife, and are very telling about his relationship with his own mother. I’m sure that through out his life he has been repeatedly rejected by women his own age, due to the fact that his mental illness is so outwardly visible. I deeply hope that his children do not inherit his illness, and learn how to deal with having an unstable parent. Hopefully someone can get through to Richard and convince him to seek professional help.

  • Hans // October 15, 2009 at 7:13 pm | Reply

    Who could have known that one of the kids would later take dad’s flying saucer for a ride?

  • Carmen // October 15, 2009 at 7:25 pm | Reply

    Please, Please Have Richard try to get psychiatric counseling. His child is currently hanging in the balance of life and death because his dad is a nut job. Too much! Why would you EVER think to put your 6yo CHILD in a homemade contraption that has the ability to carry your baby hundreds of miles away and thousands of feet in the air?! I’m so dissapointed. http://www.thedenverchannel.com/news/21306839/detail.html

  • jay // October 15, 2009 at 7:47 pm | Reply

    Heene… the kid is the one that floated off in the balloon?

  • Ashley // October 15, 2009 at 7:48 pm | Reply

    Take a look at the news this afternoon…rescue crews are chasing an “experimental aircraft” across the state of Colorado because Richard and Mayumi Heene are saying that their (6-year-old) son Falcon is inside of it…update: the aircraft just crash-landed in a field – Falcon was not inside. Nobody seems to know where he is…wow – just…wow. :/

  • Bobby Mahal // October 15, 2009 at 7:49 pm | Reply

    Their boy is in the weather balloon today … hope he is safe !

  • BuckyBob // October 15, 2009 at 8:00 pm | Reply

    Wow – where is his son today? Watch out for falling helium-filled UFOs.

  • ryan // October 15, 2009 at 8:02 pm | Reply

    look the wife swap epidsode taught them to keep there kids safe. if you have heard a recent news story one of their kid was taken off in a air balloon

  • Dualgate // October 15, 2009 at 8:07 pm | Reply

    Woot! loopy your relative is flying over Colorado

  • Michael Roston - Newsbroke – Was there a 6-year-old boy in the balloon? - True/Slant // October 15, 2009 at 8:26 pm | Reply

    [...] E! took it down. Jerks. Here’s a summary. [...]

  • Kristen // October 15, 2009 at 8:30 pm | Reply

    Frank: How you feeling about Frank’s sanity now that his youngest is missing somewhere over NE Colorado? Normal like the rest of us? You’re just as crazy and crass as he.

  • Liz // October 15, 2009 at 8:33 pm | Reply

    Now Richard’s son has made CNN by releasing the family’s giant helium balloon!

  • lotus // October 15, 2009 at 8:57 pm | Reply

    i hope the search for their 6-yr old is successful and that he is ok. i couldn’t believe my eyes when i watched the live coverage of that helium aircraft flying through the sky.

  • thetens // October 15, 2009 at 9:20 pm | Reply

    Your blog is about to get about a trillion visitors. Hope their son is alright.

  • News blog » Blog Archive » Missed Connections in Bankruptcy Class // October 15, 2009 at 9:20 pm | Reply

    [...] in it, and as of now we don't know where the boy is. And the parents were on Wife Swap. Here's a write up of the episode the Heene family was featured on. Crazy [...]

  • Falcon Plummet // October 15, 2009 at 10:00 pm | Reply

    So, I heard Richard Henne was inventing a UFO-shaped balloon with enough lift to carry the weight of a 6-year old child.

    How did that turn out? XD

  • Ellen // October 15, 2009 at 10:37 pm | Reply

    Richard is a bit of a media whore! I was not surprise when he showed up the news today! He probably let the balloon go himself then told his son to hide. It’s been a while since Wife Swap…and the coverage about the storm chasing on channel 4!

    I’m going to go with the “Batshit Crazy” vote. Hilarious.

  • Jason // October 15, 2009 at 11:07 pm | Reply

    Wow… Authorities have to look closely at the episodes, the news coverage previously, and the father’s obvious desire for attention… Anyone that goes on Wife Swap Twice is CRAVING attention… Craving it bad enough to faking having his son fly away on a helium balloon. I think it’s obvious, and the older brother was told to tell the Police that little brother was on board. Richard has to pay the price now… the harshest possible sentence for what he’s done.

  • heather // October 16, 2009 at 12:40 am | Reply

    Well I haven’t even watched the episode(s) of Wife Swap that you people are referring to so perhaps should not even comment. That being said, I can’t help but note that this show has been on the air for a few years and people want to see drama or they wouldn’t watch it.
    I imagine that couples are chosen based on their ability to go over the top. I’m not a fan of misogynistic behaviour but know that reality tv has evolved into a forum for lay people to “act” out in inappropriate ways.

  • wishingtheheenewasntincolorado // October 16, 2009 at 6:38 am | Reply

    Dear Franks Funnies,
    I live in Colorado and after the stunt that happened today 10-15-2009, with the homemade hot air balloon, you cannot convince me that Richard is
    1. Not no worse than the rest of the human race.
    2. That the kids are “well-adjusted” that has to be a lie you are telling yourself. AND…
    3.That Jenn needs to take a chill pill!!!

    The nick-name for Richard is Dick, and in this case is well, lets just say that it fits better than in any other case that I’ve known of!

    He cannot be a good father, a father who loves his children. He’s using his children to make money, to get publicity and to get out his crazy ideas on what is strong and tough, which comes from a man who is weak, and full of fear. A real man does not abuse his wife and children for any reason, and Dick is clearly abusing his wife and children to make him look strong and smart.

    He is weak, afraid, and angry, so he teaches his young son’s to disrespect women, as well as men and children, but women mostly women. He is a disgrace to real men, and if something doesn’t change, his son’s will be too someday.

    Someone better get in their and pull those boys out of that abusive home and put them into a good home with loving parents who will teach these boys how to be strong, mature men. If they aren’t removed from this home, they are going to turn into delinquents that spend their adult lives in prison for something like murder!

    How sad, and how sad you would try to back Dick up on the way he raises his young boys, shame on you!

  • pak31 // October 16, 2009 at 2:21 pm | Reply

    To Franks comment above telling the poster to “chill”, that kids adapt, grow up and behave how they choose. Are you for real?? How do you think that children’s minds, values, morals, etc. are shaped as they mature?? Mostly by their parents. Once they become adults, they will be grown up and behave how they choose BUT it will be in the manner that they were taught as children. If you are raised like an animal, you likely will act like one. If you are raised with morals, respect, etc. then that will show as you grow up. I don’t know this family and haven’t seen enough to speak about them but to say that how they are raised now will change as soon as they can choose for themselves is ignorant. Just watching the rap video disgusted me, as a parent. Allowing small children to talk like that as if it’s ok is revolting. If these kids grow up to act like this in public like school, etc. they will be in great trouble. IF, and I say if, these boys are being raised without boundries, seeing the disrespect or women or any person for that matter, swearing, etc. what type of adults do you think they’ll be like?? I don’t even want to know.

    • franksfunnies // October 18, 2009 at 1:41 am | Reply

      If you’ll notice, my response to that comment was posted a year ago – before the second Wife Swap episode, rap video or the Balloon Boy event. When I last visited with Richard, Mayumi and their kids I found loving parents and three sweet kids. What exactly has transpired since then – or during this latest incident – is beyond my personal experience. Once this storm settles down I’m going to invite Richard to do a telephone interview with me to give his side of the story outside of the glare of the media.

  • CaliforniaBang // October 16, 2009 at 3:15 pm | Reply

    Heene is toast; I hope the authorities fine and sentence him to the fullest extent and some inmate in a Colorado correctional facility launches an “experimental” aircraft straight up his ass!

  • vanilla // October 16, 2009 at 6:56 pm | Reply

    haven’t been able to find the full episode but just the clip where him and his wife point and laugh like maniacs at the other cuople, well, I can just imagine. Nobody on wife swap is.ever.normal.

  • Lea // October 17, 2009 at 12:23 am | Reply

    I can’t believe CNN devoted all day to this story. From the first moments, it was obvious it was staged. Where is Ted Turner when you need him. His CNN wouldn’t be acting like TMZ. Fame seeking parents couldn’t stage everything however, the kid tells the whole world that “you guys told me to do it for the show” out of the mouth of babes!

  • Alni // October 17, 2009 at 4:55 pm | Reply

    Sometimes good things come out of bad things. In this case, the good thing is that child welfare authorities are planning to investigate the Heene family. Richard is an adult and he can do as he pleases, but he does not have the right to abuse or endanger his children.

    Even if this event was not a planned hoax for publicity, I would ask why a 6 year old was so afraid of his own father that he felt better hiding in the attic for over three hours than risking his father’s anger. I would also ask why this same child was so stressed that he threw up TWICE in interviews about the event. That sort of stress level in children is abnormal and deserves a look by trained child welfare agents.

    • franksfunnies // October 18, 2009 at 1:27 am | Reply

      I can’t speak to Falcon’s choice to hide in the attic, but I wouldn’t be surprised if his vomiting weren’t related to the stress and attention of the whole event, exacerbated by having to appear on multiple nationwide news shows for hours on end without sleep.

  • DuhWee // October 18, 2009 at 12:43 am | Reply

    This Richard is a psycho and his kids are damaged because of his untreated mental illness. Those kids look filthy, I guess, Dad doesn’t require they bath? They also have filthy minds and filthy mouth’s. I hope Heene ends up in jail, that is where he belongs. Throwing Milk at a woman is defined as throwing a missel, against the law. He should have been arrested. I see he hit his wife once and 911 was called. Gave his wife a red eye and mark on her face. Man, she needs to get away from that nutjob. The kids will probably grow up to be serial killers and hate and stalk women.

  • DuhWee // October 18, 2009 at 12:47 am | Reply

    Deputy made Feb. visit to Colorado balloon family
    (AP) – 1 day ago

    FORT COLLINS, Colo. — A Colorado sheriff’s deputy responded to a 911 hang-up in February at the home of a family now known for reporting that their young son was in a balloon that got away.

    The Larimer County Sheriff’s deputy who went to the home said he heard a man yelling and, once inside, noticed Mayumi Heene had a mark on her cheek and broken blood vessels in her eye. She said it was because of a problem with her contacts.

    Richard Heene said he was yelling because his children stayed up past their bedtime.

    The deputy concluded he didn’t have probable cause to make an arrest, but believed a physical altercation may have occurred. No charges were filed.

    It was one of three 911 calls made from the home within the past year, but the only one in which a report was filed.

    Copyright © 2009 The Associated Press. All rights reserved.

  • DuhWee // October 18, 2009 at 1:35 am | Reply

    Watch Heene assault a woman on WIfe Swap.

  • DuhWee // October 18, 2009 at 1:46 am | Reply

    This is my last comment. Did you see the Video of Falcon covered in brown/black matter, sitting on the toliet? It looked like he was covered in shit.

    What kind of Father would do that to his child?

    That is sick,not funny.

    These kids are doomed and Richard is a nutjob who should be locked up.

  • DuhWee // October 18, 2009 at 1:50 am | Reply

    Here is the video of the boy on the toliet covered in feces.

    If this man was my friend, I would be damned if I would admit it, much less say he is a wonderful dad.

    • franksfunnies // October 18, 2009 at 2:57 am | Reply

      Wow…
      I had not seen this video. Certainly not what I would have had my kids doing on camera when they were little. Clearly not their creation either. At this point, I’m withholding further comment or judgement – and I’m certainly not going to email Richard since the Sherrif’s going through all his computers and emails!

  • SHILOHPEACE // October 18, 2009 at 2:20 am | Reply

    SO DUMB! SO STUPID! SUCH A WASTE! CUTE LITTLE KIDS COULD HAVE MADE A REALLY COOL VIDEO. THE PARENTS OF THESE CHILDREN ARE SO INCREDIBLY STRANGE AND NEGLIGENT..IT IS REALLY SAD. AND I THINK THE KIDS NEED TO GO INTO A DIFFERENT HOME.

  • matt // October 18, 2009 at 3:52 am | Reply

    ugh.

  • concerned2009 // October 18, 2009 at 5:35 am | Reply

    I became aware of Richard Heene last week on the Wife Swap episode including the “safety family.” It was very disturbing.

    Tonight, I read a breaking news headline across the bottom of my television screen and thought I recognized Richard Heene’s name from the Wife Swap episode that had aired last week that had been so very disturbing – especially from the perspective of these three young boys being subjected to such insanity.

    Sure enough . . . the same guy. I must admit, I wasn’t that shocked.

    Since the balloon incident that I became aware of only today, I’ve begun doing some online surfing and came across your website and comments.

    Shame on you, Frank, for ever encouraging and/or defending the disturbing behavior of this “juvenile.” He cannot be described as a man.

    Am now wondering what will happen to these three, can’t even call them “innocent” young boys. Their parents have stripped them of their innocence and you have encouraged and supported such a disturbed individual.

    One has to wonder . . . why?

    So very sad.

  • David A // October 18, 2009 at 3:23 pm | Reply

    Frank, your really fucked up promoting such a horrible father and dysfunctional family. They needed help years ago, any one could have seen this from his 1st wife swap episode, etc. Instead you promote this damage as eccentric genius. What a joke, I think YOU need help distinguishing normal from abnormal. Rot in hell bastard, we got enough crazies in the world, we don’t need more.

  • DuhWee // October 19, 2009 at 4:29 am | Reply

    I hope the Sheriff sees his child sitting on the toliet wiped down in what could be feces.

  • Tiffany // October 19, 2009 at 5:17 am | Reply

    It was about a year ago that I commented on this very blog about Richard Heene’s wife swap appearance. We all know reality tv is manipulated and often times scripted, but something about Heene was just too disturbing to chock up to playing for the camera.

    Heene is a narcissistic psycho; the sheriff all but called him an abuser. Not surprised. My instincts were correct. How could you be friends with him and not sense or realize what it took millions to deduce in about 30 minutes via tv?

    • Lyn7721 // November 28, 2009 at 4:50 pm | Reply

      Tiffany I wondered the same thing! How could Frank not realize how psycho this man is? I wonder if in Frank’s attempt to show the world that men are made to look stupid on tv he forgot that all men and all women are not the same. Though he may perceive the media this way he was unable to notice how psycho Richard Heene was because it didn’t mesh with his agenda. It’s like when people involved in civil rights can’t see when a minority is actually just a crappy person.

      When I heard about the balloon boy incident this is the first place I came back to, to see if Frank was still singing Richard’s praises. It was obvious to me on wife swap that Richard was publicity crazy and just plain crazy! It’s rare that you get to argue about someone on tv and then have them prove you right later on!

  • Eric // October 19, 2009 at 2:50 pm | Reply

    Note the Santa hat. The kid is dressed up to be Mr. Hanky from South Park. It’s obviously not real feces. Maybe chocolate pudding? I’m sure they had a blast making that video. I wish my dad would have been cool enough to film me disguised as an animated piece of poo when I was younger. You people need to lighten up and get a life.

  • DuhWee // October 19, 2009 at 4:41 pm | Reply

    The SIck Asshole moved the video so Authorities couldn’t see it.

    What’s the Matter Richard Heene, you aren’t so tough anymore, are you, pyscho.

  • greg // October 19, 2009 at 6:58 pm | Reply

    hey frank, you need to get yourself together and re-eval your judgement of people. you keep talking about richards ‘media glare’ as if it is cast on him without his doing. this is what he craves, and then he gets a pass for ‘overreacting’ for the cam? the same cam he is going to end up in prison to have pointed his way? and btw, as a human being there are vastly different qualities. how can you possibly believe that just because we all have flaws that we are no better/worse than richard. if that was the case we would not need a legal system get a life you clown.

  • Jennilee // October 20, 2009 at 3:03 am | Reply

    Richard Heene is a stark reminder of what happens t0 people who suffer from mental disorders that go untreated. His narcissistic manic bipolar controls the lives of everyone around, especially his immediate family. Similar to a spouse that enables a drug addict, Mayumi has dedicated her whole life in supporting his mental disorder. I hope this does not end tragically. It seems to me that if Richard loses the ability to feel like a “charismatic star” in his world, then the rage that appears to always be lying right underneath the surface of his personality will explode and could cause real harm.
    The only thing I would caution is people so quick to criticize the boys – they be harmed by their parent’s behavior but they certainly are not lost causes. They are in the process of developing their personal value system and of course their parents are horrible role models. We need to pray that there is an adult in their lives that is a good solid person to balance out the bad examples from their parents.

    • franksfunnies // October 20, 2009 at 3:12 am | Reply

      Very insightful Jennifer. I think you have correctly diagnosed Mayumi’s enabling behavior and hope Richard can make it through this without reacting as you have predicted.

  • Liz // October 21, 2009 at 12:32 am | Reply

    I am in shock…these Heenes are absolutely revolting people. Richard is an absolute bumbling buffoon and his wife is just pitiful. He clearly has a full blown case of narcissistic personality disorder and probably some other mental disorder like bipolar. If that’s the case, at least there is some explanation. Otherwise, he is simply the biggest boob on the planet. Those poor poor children. What utter humiliation to be born as his sons.

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